Dear God,
First of all, thank you for being such a loving God. Thank you for putting up with my not-so-holy rantings for the past 21 years. I know it was hard, so I really appreciate the love.
And thank you, God, for carrots.
I grated about three cups' worth and made a 9 x 13 carrot cake. It was delicious, as your omniscient presence knows.
Thank you that I totally messed up the decorations on the said carrot cake above. Trying to arrange, frost, and decorate the entire thing in 30 minutes flat didn't work so well. I remain humbled before you and in front of thin-consistency red-orange frosting. FYI, that color is evil.
And lastly, God, thank you for calzones. With your grace I have redeemed myself through these cheesy suckers.
I ask for your everlasting culinary mercy for the future happenings to happen in my kitchen.
Amen.